the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
