Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
