I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
