Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
