He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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