it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
