normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
