i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
