At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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