Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm gonna have a badass scar
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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