My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
