I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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