I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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