Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
