Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
