Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
