it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
