Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
