Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
