I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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