I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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