super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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