Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
