3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We're like a lot better than the average bears
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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