Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
