Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
