Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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