I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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