Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
