But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
