i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
