maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
that is very illegal...i love you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
