So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
