Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
