I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
