I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
