There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
