i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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