Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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