Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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