SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
