two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
