She's JV to your varsity
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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