the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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