for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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