i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
