My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
