I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
