Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
ttyl tear gas
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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