me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
His nipple licking is glorious
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