so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
