it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sext me about skeletons
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
